Last June we had the opportunity of playing "Camp Host" to our three wonderful grand kids who were visiting from Missouri. Gage, Garret, and Tanner were outstanding guests - they loved every minute of it. The grass at our camp had grown up above knee height so after dinner was cleaned up and the kids were situated in front of the VCR in the trailer, I went outside and started pulling up large clumps of grass from the walkways so the kids could get around easier.
Within just a few minutes Gage came out and started helping me pull up grass gallantly saying that it was not right that I had to do all the work. (What a gentleman!) I let him pull for a couple of minutes but then sent him off to the rope swing to have some more fun before the sun went down. A few minutes later Garret showed his head out the trailer door and upon seeing that I was weeding, he too jumped in pulling grass saying I should not have to do it all by myself. (I believed his sincerity as he came right to my side and started pulling the grass closest to me so I would not have to do it.) Again, I let him help for a few minutes but then sent him off to the swing also. Only about a minute passed before Tanner came to help me pull grass, saying he did not want me to have to work by myself. (Credit has to go to Jen and Doug for raising these boys with a sense of gallantry and fairness.) After a minute, I sent him to swing with his brothers. We stayed out until it was almost too dark to see that night. The last clump of grass I grabbed was just a little too big and just a little too far of a reach and I hurt my back trying to pull it.
I thought I had pulled my back out of alignment so went to a chiropractor for six weeks. When it was not getting any better I started going to my general doctor for help. When she ran out of ideas (in August) she referred me to a physiatrist. My response was to ask her if she thought it was all in my head - you know, sounds a lot like psychiatrist. Turns out a physiatrist is a specialist in the diagnosis and treatment of pain. It took a month to get in to see him. The X-Rays showed some arthritis and a small bone spur but nothing that was consistent with the level of pain I was experiencing. The next week I had an MRI, which showed that I had two herniated discs. L4-L5 herniated into the spinal column - the spinal column should have 9.5 mm - mine had 5.6 mm. L5 - S1 was herniated into the left nerve bundle. When I brought the MRI results to the physiatrist his comment was, "I can't believe you haven't been beating down my door for pain medicine. This is serious. The only option you have is surgery if you don't want to risk permanent nerve damage." So he gave me an "urgent" referral to a neuro surgeon.
The next week I wrenched my back. I burst into sobs but got it under control as I had to take Kadee to school and make it to work. I only lasted 2.5 hours before I was sobbing again. I had to leave work and go home. I felt like such a deserter - I was leaving them in the lurch. I had told them the severity of my problem weeks ago and had tried to get everything in order before I left but I did not think I was going to have to leave so soon. That day was Thursday, October 15th.
For those of you who know me, you know the fateful events that occurred Friday. For the rest - my eldest brother had been suffering from an intestinal blockage and he went in for a "routine" surgery to remove the blockage. In the surgery it was discovered that he was stage four Gall Bladder cancer - there is no stage five as the cancer had metastetized to several other organs- only the imminent death of a most beloved brother.
I have never felt so wounded, so sad. Cancer is an unfair enemy. It has singled out the person in my life who has lived every day like it was the most important. He has treated everyone who crossed his path as though they were his favorite person in the world. I would know, I was lucky enough to grow up with him. And, for the last eight years, I was blessed to work in the same company with him, too. I got a "daily fix" of his love - Rick treated everyone like they were his little brother or sister - I really was, so I got more (jabs in the stomach, pokes in the side while I was standing at the copier and didn't see him coming, knee trips that nearly knocked me to the floor, hugs when I was having a bad day, and counselling sessions when it was a terrible day). I will miss him. Thank goodness that families are forever. I know that when he is released from this earthly pain, we will meet again someday, on the other side.
My surgery to fuse both discs was Saturday, December 20th. My surgeon gave up his Saturday before Christmas to take care of me and I appreciate his sacrifice. I was able to come home on Christmas Eve. It has been a long six weeks. I plan to go back to work this week part time, as much as I can. My assignment from the surgeon is to practice sitting for 15 minutes at a time without my back brace, and to keep walking on the treadmill. In another six weeks I will be able to start physical therapy. They said that it will take about 18 months to work my way back to doing the things I did before the back injury.
I got an interesting perspective on my surgery from Rick - he was glad that I didn't get any surprises like he did. Humbling... beautiful... generous. That's Rick for ya. He is a one-of-a-kind example of grace, acceptance and gratitude. He has changed my perspective on dealing with pain. It's really not that bad, and eventually, my back pain will get better. My goal is to act more like my big brother and treat every day like it's my most important assignment, and treat everyone like they are my favorite member of the family. Rick has the mentality that there are no "strangers", just people who need to be a part of our "family of friends". God bless him.
Within just a few minutes Gage came out and started helping me pull up grass gallantly saying that it was not right that I had to do all the work. (What a gentleman!) I let him pull for a couple of minutes but then sent him off to the rope swing to have some more fun before the sun went down. A few minutes later Garret showed his head out the trailer door and upon seeing that I was weeding, he too jumped in pulling grass saying I should not have to do it all by myself. (I believed his sincerity as he came right to my side and started pulling the grass closest to me so I would not have to do it.) Again, I let him help for a few minutes but then sent him off to the swing also. Only about a minute passed before Tanner came to help me pull grass, saying he did not want me to have to work by myself. (Credit has to go to Jen and Doug for raising these boys with a sense of gallantry and fairness.) After a minute, I sent him to swing with his brothers. We stayed out until it was almost too dark to see that night. The last clump of grass I grabbed was just a little too big and just a little too far of a reach and I hurt my back trying to pull it.
I thought I had pulled my back out of alignment so went to a chiropractor for six weeks. When it was not getting any better I started going to my general doctor for help. When she ran out of ideas (in August) she referred me to a physiatrist. My response was to ask her if she thought it was all in my head - you know, sounds a lot like psychiatrist. Turns out a physiatrist is a specialist in the diagnosis and treatment of pain. It took a month to get in to see him. The X-Rays showed some arthritis and a small bone spur but nothing that was consistent with the level of pain I was experiencing. The next week I had an MRI, which showed that I had two herniated discs. L4-L5 herniated into the spinal column - the spinal column should have 9.5 mm - mine had 5.6 mm. L5 - S1 was herniated into the left nerve bundle. When I brought the MRI results to the physiatrist his comment was, "I can't believe you haven't been beating down my door for pain medicine. This is serious. The only option you have is surgery if you don't want to risk permanent nerve damage." So he gave me an "urgent" referral to a neuro surgeon.
The next week I wrenched my back. I burst into sobs but got it under control as I had to take Kadee to school and make it to work. I only lasted 2.5 hours before I was sobbing again. I had to leave work and go home. I felt like such a deserter - I was leaving them in the lurch. I had told them the severity of my problem weeks ago and had tried to get everything in order before I left but I did not think I was going to have to leave so soon. That day was Thursday, October 15th.
For those of you who know me, you know the fateful events that occurred Friday. For the rest - my eldest brother had been suffering from an intestinal blockage and he went in for a "routine" surgery to remove the blockage. In the surgery it was discovered that he was stage four Gall Bladder cancer - there is no stage five as the cancer had metastetized to several other organs- only the imminent death of a most beloved brother.
I have never felt so wounded, so sad. Cancer is an unfair enemy. It has singled out the person in my life who has lived every day like it was the most important. He has treated everyone who crossed his path as though they were his favorite person in the world. I would know, I was lucky enough to grow up with him. And, for the last eight years, I was blessed to work in the same company with him, too. I got a "daily fix" of his love - Rick treated everyone like they were his little brother or sister - I really was, so I got more (jabs in the stomach, pokes in the side while I was standing at the copier and didn't see him coming, knee trips that nearly knocked me to the floor, hugs when I was having a bad day, and counselling sessions when it was a terrible day). I will miss him. Thank goodness that families are forever. I know that when he is released from this earthly pain, we will meet again someday, on the other side.
My surgery to fuse both discs was Saturday, December 20th. My surgeon gave up his Saturday before Christmas to take care of me and I appreciate his sacrifice. I was able to come home on Christmas Eve. It has been a long six weeks. I plan to go back to work this week part time, as much as I can. My assignment from the surgeon is to practice sitting for 15 minutes at a time without my back brace, and to keep walking on the treadmill. In another six weeks I will be able to start physical therapy. They said that it will take about 18 months to work my way back to doing the things I did before the back injury.
I got an interesting perspective on my surgery from Rick - he was glad that I didn't get any surprises like he did. Humbling... beautiful... generous. That's Rick for ya. He is a one-of-a-kind example of grace, acceptance and gratitude. He has changed my perspective on dealing with pain. It's really not that bad, and eventually, my back pain will get better. My goal is to act more like my big brother and treat every day like it's my most important assignment, and treat everyone like they are my favorite member of the family. Rick has the mentality that there are no "strangers", just people who need to be a part of our "family of friends". God bless him.
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